Many long-time mixed martial arts fans think Saturday’s Kimbo Slice fight on CBS was fixed because, well, it looked exactly like what they think a fixed fight would look like.
Personally, I don’t think it was rigged, if only because it worked. Kimbo, the obvious beneficiary since the entire promotion hinges on his success, won. For Elite XC to purposely deliver this desirable result would display a level of competency not seen in any other part of its amateur hour production.
But that’s just me. In the days after the first ever network televised card, everyone seems to have an opinion.
It generally splits into two groups.
Moderate to hardcore fans saw it as an abomination of their sport; CBS and Elite XC combining to produce a circus act headlined by an overhyped Kimbo that set the perception of MMA back a decade.
New and casual fans saw it as great entertainment, especially considering it was on late Saturday night where the expectations of programming aren’t real high, although some viewers undoubtedly were.
Both sides are correct; it’s simply a matter of perspective.
If you’re a fan of MMA, then what Elite XC trotted out as a main event was mostly an absurd exhibition. It’s like tuning in for the NBA Finals and finding the And 1 Mixtape Tour – only with announcers pretending Hot Sauce is a better player than Kobe Bryant.
This was entirely predictable. Any promotion that was going to use Kimbo Slice as its main event clearly cared nothing about the quality or growth of the sport. It was just grabbing cheap viewers. If that meant sending a mostly unskilled street fighting sensation against a guy who was such a tomato can he should have dressed in red, then so be it.
Of course, the tomato can, James “Colossus” Thompson, almost won. At least, until the fight got stopped, Kimbo was declared the winner and MMA message boards almost collapsed in fury.
But if you didn’t know, or care, then you didn’t know or care. This was better than reruns of “Walker, Texas Ranger.”
What the main event lacked in quality it made up for in entertainment, unintentional or not. Here are my four favorite absurdly hysterical moments of the Kimbo-Colossus fight.
4. When the fight was called, Colossus, the loser, tried to fight the ref for unfairly ending it. Kimbo, the winner, collapsed in exhaustion as many in the once pro-Kimbo crowd in Newark, N.J., turned on their guy. Not exactly a victory lap.
3. The CBS announcing crew’s endless hyperbole reaching its pinnacle when one of them compared Kimbo to Tiger Woods.
This would be applicable if Tiger had gained fame hitting trick shots in putt putt and then was invited to a second rate club championship which CBS was conned into televising. He then shot a final round 124, after which he was declared the winner anyway.
2. The judges. Kimbo spent most of the second round getting his skull hit and thanking the heavens that Colossus could only manage weak punches and elbows. Anyone else and this ends ugly. Even with Colossus, the fight could have been called (ha) in this undeniably terrible round for Kimbo.
Naturally, one of the “impartial judges” scored the round in his favor anyway. If this had gone to decision, is there any doubt at least one of the judges would have scored the three-round fight for Kimbo, five rounds to zero?
1. The Ear. What, you’ve seen an ear like that before? When everyone predicted this would be a freak show, no one thought the Colossus would take it to heart. His cauliflower ear was massive, this huge ball of blood and puss hanging off his head.
Ah, didn’t anyone think to mention he might want to drain that thing before Kimbo whacks him upside the head and makes it explode? Which, of course, happened.
Pre-fight, as the cameras zoomed in on that monstrosity everyone watching was horrified, fascinated or laughing uncontrollably. It was something out of a summer comedy; I kept expecting Verne Troyer to appear in the scene. CBS’s Gus Johnson declared it an “alien life form.”
This was the stuff that pained longtime fans. For the average person just looking for something to watch, though, this train wreck was wildly entertaining. At the very least, it was memorable. Not everyone is concerned about the integrity of cage fighting.
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