Fans are asked to treat Chiefs games like bowling matches
By MJD
See all those fans in that picture? They are dirty, filthy people who are running afoul of Arrowhead Stadium law and should be ejected and beaten with a railroad spike.
The Kansas City Chiefs have a "Fan Code of Conduct," which is essentially a list of rules that fans have to follow when they're attending a game at Arrowhead. In theory, it's not a bad idea, as you'd like your stadium to provide a friendly atmosphere for families and people who aren't drunken hooligans.
In practice, though, it might not be such a great idea, especially if the person responsible for coming up with the rules is an 85-year-old woman who teaches the 2nd grade and regards standing up as one of the evil things that young whippersnappers often do. Seriously, standing erect is the No. 2 item on the list of things that are prohibited:
• Standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans
Not only that, Pro Football Talk points out how seated fans can anonymously tattle on their upright counterparts:
The Chiefs also have set up a text-messaging system that allows fans who might be offended by behaviors like standing to report the situation to the powers-that-be.
Awesome. I hear they're even taking the extra step and including bed pans with every seat, so no one has to get up to use the bathroom. They're going to make the beer and peanut vendors crawl through the stadium on all fours. Also, as soon as you get to your seat and sit down, an usher's going to come by and inject you with a temporary paralytic.
Maybe I'm overreacting. The anti-standing policy might only be temporary. Maybe they'll lift the ban when the Chiefs can field an offense that might actually score a touchdown every now and then and might give fans a reason to stand. Maybe this is only the policy until Brodie Croyle improved or is replaced.
Still, it seems like an asinine, joyless, and dangerous policy. If standing is banned, we can't be far away from banning yelling, too, can we? I'm all for a friendly fan experience, but I'd also rather not turn Arrowhead into the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club.
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